hii

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 21:08:41 GMT

rainbowsuicide
I wanna turn the music up so loud in my head phones it’ll make my ears bleed
I wanna take a knife and gouge out my eyes so I can’t see
It’s not fair for me to stay alive if I’m not happy with being me
So when you see me lying there bleeding and not breathing, just let me be

I wanna bang my head so hard against the wall I’ll go brain dead
I wanna scream so loud you can finally understand the things I’ve said
Whoever said life is the greatest thing god created is a bunch of bullshit cause I’m fucked up and no, nothing in my life is Zen
So when you see me there with my throat cut open and eyes rolled to the back of my head, just leave me be

I wanna press the cigarette so hard against my face I’ll get 3rd burn degrees
Never eat, throw up my insides and carve into my stomach with a razor blade that reads ‘Fatty’
Everyone used to say I was better off dead and I guess now I agree
So when you see me with a note in one hand and a gun in the other, just let it be

I wanna make you see the real side of me
The messed up, suicidal, fucked up mental freak
Isn’t it sometimes hard to believe what you read…
So when you get a phone call, saying the your friend or your girlfriend is dead
It was because you didn’t take this poem seriously
Even though this was my last goodbye, my rainbowsuicide plea to the world
And this time, you will just have to let things be…

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 20:47:44 GMT

8th grade dance

pictures

Graduation

pictures

road trip

pictures.

hoooray for best friends !

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 23:24:01 GMT

alright so long time .
im sorry for being the biggest jerk ever.
i was just stressed , i guess.
well my computer is fucked, so im at the Apple Store in Woodfield with Jovan & Meagan.
i hate Kevin Barone & Joanna "slut face" : )
everyone is friends again & i love it .
peace .

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 06:53:12 GMT

i want to move.
i dont want a boy.
i dont want sympathy.
i dont want to change.
I AM ME

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 03:11:37 GMT

all my pictures got deleted.
im mad , very.
i want to go to jakes show but i no one will go with me.
i hate tph.
everyone is annoying me.
i feel like im losing friends.
i probably am, im a bitch.
i want to get the hell out of this town.

help me ♥

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 04:39:18 GMT

hi
so Kevin & Kray are dating .
Mike Perea loves Vanessa still .
Mom & I are fighting again .
I went to the gym today .
I lost 8 pounds .
♥

ps. i weigh 132 , FATTY .

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 23:06:30 GMT

alright .
so im at the library waiting for Bean to finish up her project.
& the kid next to me is READING MY SHIT. pft.
so im pretty bored.
but ive got my music so its all good :)
Today was pretty boring at school.
Ms. Gallow keeps sneaking up on me in the hallways everytime i do something bad ha.
its crazy .
♥

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 01:22:47 GMT

alright .
so im back.
& i could care less if you read this or not.
this is my "thoughts" journal.
& i could care less if you think im a loser for writing in here.

so im lost .
nothing else more to say . ♥

NO ONE READS THIS THING ANYWAYS.

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 19:02:55 GMT

its xmas eve & im alone this christmas.

hmm, guess its for the best.

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 23:42:26 GMT

so its over.
& im taking it great.
i dont want him back.
im just tired of him doing this to me.
i hate liars + CHEATERS.
: )

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 20:14:26 GMT

winter break means ;

PARTY TIME

who's in ?

+ presents . =)

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 03:03:12 GMT

//♥ SNOW

alright , so today i stayed home from school . yippee. & later today i realized it was snowing out. I love the snow. So i opened my front door, went outside in a tank top & shorts and started dancing in the snow.

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 03:41:43 GMT

so he had sex with his ex .

BUMMMER = (

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 03:39:40 GMT

I love the Winter & the snowww.
+ krays lake house
+ deeer !
+ hot tub
+ snow mobiles
+ hot chocolate
+ LONG fun cars

i love KELSEY VIRGINIA RAY
+ Kevin Robert Barone <3

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 03:51:11 GMT

GIRLFIGHT

haha . GUESS WHO WON ??

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 02:56:00 GMT

hippieplant420: god i hope this love never end becuz if it does i dont even know what i will ever do with out her by my side.
hippieplant420: lindsay is so fucking amazing and i dont think she knows how happy she makes me feel.

this is what love is like boys & girls :)

god do i love him - - -

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 02:07:30 GMT

i wish i was young .

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 00:06:23 GMT

THURSDAY NIGHT
Thursday was the best night ever. HOUSE party at kevins & everyone was like high or just fucked up ha. Kels,Ash,Lex,Sarah,Bohacz,Kt,Danny,David,Bryce?,Josh & Mike were there. It was CRAZY. First Kevins window broke cause he threw a soap bar at it? Ha, then more glass broke. Then we clam baked kevins room & WOOOAH ha. Um then everyone else came and it started to actually be fun. Ash & all the other girls were dancing to Danny & David's ghetT0 music. Kevin was MESSED UP & passed out in his mamas room. I felt bad cause everyone was like in his house & he was just sleeping. Um then the girls had chocolate cake ? ha & it got like everywhere so they cleaned it up. Then Bohacz was watching porno . Then Dannys mom came & was PISSED OFF cause 25 of kevins pills were gone ha. So we all had to get into his moms van. 16 people in a mini van lmao . CRAMMMED DAYMN ! It was awesome though ha . Um then we got to Dannys and the girls and danny , josh & bryce left to Campi park . Cause Kevin, david & mike had to wait for Stefon (there dealer). IT WAS FUCKING COLD AS A MUG OUTSIDE ! Then everyone came back and stefon still wasnt there so dannys mom made a bonfire & everyone went out back except Kevin =/. I felt bad but oh well. Then we just like got warm inside dannys house. Then we had to leave at like 11 . Dannys mom drove us girls back to Bohacz's. Um yeha, we werent spose to sleep over (me, lex, kels & ash) so we had to go into bohacz's garage and hide behind her car. Bohacz & seyffert came in once and a while , but then bohacz's mom got suspitious and went into the garage and saw us. She was like "what are you girls doing in here?" & ash was like "sitting here" ha , lexxa's face was like "SHIET!" ha. Then we had to like find a way home . So we called up Evette (their old stepmom). She picked us up and we slept at Lexxa's.

LONG NIGHT .

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 01:38:49 GMT

i love partying with my boys & girls .

kray + ash + lexxa + seyferrt + bohacz + kt + david + danny + josh + kevin + mike

uhumm.
it was so fun last night.
& heres the recap ;

- house party @ kevins
- clam baked kevins room
- dealing
- bon fire
- getting kicked out of bohacz's house
- stranded @ bohacz's
- lexxa's house
- SLEEP :>
- danny's
- krays gramps crib 8)
- campinelli
- home

woah, ill write the WHOLE story later.

PEACE<3

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 03:47:44 GMT

MAYBE DITCHING CLASS WASNT SUCH A GOOD IDEA .

grounded until futher notice .

leave love<3

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 02:18:50 GMT

uhumm i love you - - -

uhh yeah there's more but - - - EH

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 03:30:15 GMT

tell me something interesting - - - ♥

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 16:51:39 GMT

ive always got a beautiful story to tell you : )

LAST NIGHT- alright me kray and kels mcginnis walked over to krays house and then we walked over to kevins. Wesley was on the phone with Kevin so me and the kelseys were like running to kevins to talk to Wes. I miss him : (. Ok so then we went to Kevins for a little bit & Kray and I were trying to skateboard. It was terrible ha. Ok so then Kray & McGin had to go back to McGins house before her mommy left. So i stayed with Kevin so he could help his mom up the stairs and then we walked to Starbucks to get some yummmy coffee cause it was cold as a nukka outside. Then we went to McGins house and we watched a movie. I love Kevin : ). Then me and kevin went to the park to go smoke & then we came back & McGins mommy was leaving so it was just Kray, McGin, Kevin, Alisha (mcGins moms boss's daughter), Eric and his friends. So then we got super bored and decided to go egg Steffi's house : ). So we got some eggs and walked to her appartment. When we got there, Kray stayed behind with Alishia cause she was scared. So it was just me , Kevin and McGinnis. We were seeing where we would run if they caught us. Then we stashed the evidence in the garbage can. Ok so we were just standing there for a while & then i was like Kels you go first. She throws an egg at the house and then i hear a "WOOOOOOOSH" KEVIN FUCKING THREW A EGG AT HER WINDOW AND IT SHATTERED ! OMG we were running like niggers with weed. I was running so fast i thought i like swallowed my heart ha. Then we ran through peoples yards and it was so dark. Then we realized cars were following us, so we hid behind someones house. Then i was like fuck this and ran out and there comes a car just stopping so i quikly thought "hmmm they wont know if we live here or not so lets pretend we're playing a game" so i yelled "TAG YOUR IT !" and immidietly everyone was like "wtf is she talking about, this is a terrible time" ha. So then i was like "count kelsey ; )" Then the car left and we ran back to McGins house. I COULDNT BREATHE. Im so out of shape its disgusting. SMOKING DOESNT HELP ha. Anyways then we just like talked about it for a while then went back to normal. Then we got thirsty and walked to 711 and got some MONSTERS : ). MMMMMMMMM yummmy . Then we watched a movie and then we walked Kevin home and went back to McGins and went to sleep. : ).

i love these girls.

& this boy.

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 03:35:45 GMT

My name is Lindsay Alison Russell
I'm thirteen years old & in love with a boy named Kevin. I'm in 8th grade at Jane Addams Jr. High [hell]. I love my friends as you can see. I only have a few really good ones, but this girl is the one whos always there. Kelsey Virginia Ray [twig]. I love to walk places & i love coloring. I play guitar but im not very good. I love the color green & i hate the color gold. I love penguins & i hate hamsters. I love pasta & i hate meat. I love going to shows. & I love seeing my boyfriend. I hate hypicrital people and fake people. I hate liars, although i lie myself. I AM NOT A CRACK WHORE, but i may do drugs sometimes. I dont like to be rushed of presured into things. I DONT LIKE TO DRINK. I smoke ciggarettes sometimes. I love the fall & laying out in a leaf pile. I am blonde, but my hair color rarly stays the same. I have a sister named Meagan and we're like best friends. I love my dad & dont like my mother very much. I wish DCFS would @#$% off ! My favorite band currently is Underoath. I miss my ex boyfriend Matt. I screw up with friendships & relationships often. I used to self-mutilate myself. I AM NOT EMO..mmmk. I hate when people say kthanks. I hate when people lie to get people into trouble. Im known as the bad ass at addams. I dont like annoying little kids. Infact i really dont like little kids that much. There's nothing else to say really. ♥

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 02:14:09 GMT

there lieing when they say kids can't fall in love ;

cause i already have- - - ♥